Like my throat was replaced by a sieve where all the good comforting things slip through, like oxygen and happiness leaving a stagnant steady beating of a solo heart.

Like from my fingertips to my toes a taut lined stretched me into a single cold reverberating being

Love is not often a dove that dreamlike leaves my lips and flies into a lovers eyes along with the knowledge that forever will keep that bird a-winged.

It was in the storm and the rain, it was, let me please breathe again, it was nothing I expected to last any moment longer than it did, it was a need like grass waits for rain, it was a dessert, that was sanded with pain, it was a boat that could float through the waterless planes, it was a very long draught that I didn’t see an end to, and for recovery I held on to the device you held out to me but I grabbed with my heart and not with my hand so when you let go I landed back in the sand.

Few knew how far I was buried in disappointment, loss, struggle and the chaos of not trusting the closest humans next to me. Few knew the type of starvation that prohibits belief in the future. Few knew what little I had left, what morsels of survival offered me subsistence…perhaps only the lower things or nonsensical schemes a friend could offer in conversation.

But you journey me farther from there. You didn’t know what ship you let me ride on when I could leave my prison to flee from all the inner devastation. I didn’t have my bed for this long. The doors were locked and I was outside, surfing on car tops.

And so I ran. Inside my head then began to pretend…until I could find some way to get out to sea. To leave all they trapped around me.

You made me a little bit free.

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